Happy New Year!

Happy New Year to Everyone!

Jared & I brought 2011 in with a "bang" of fireworks at Polly's house. Lots of wine, beer and plenty of champagne was pass around and around and around. Thankfully I didn't have too awful of a headache today!

Christopher had his first over night with Grandma and Grandpa Olson! He was a super good boy and officially dubbed "a handful". Ya think? :-)

Our night times have been a little cruddy again. Christopher would NOT go down in his crib without being completely passed out and then would only sleep for an hour or so before waking up. I am hoping that it was a growth spurt. Tonight was much much better. A little birdie told me his resolution was to go to bed easier for Mommy. Guess we'll see how that plays out!

I have no real resolutions for myself. I guess I don't believe in them as 90% of them are not followed through anyway. I have made a few promises to myself.

They are to be the best Mommy that I can be to Christopher. I know I'm a great Mommy but I want to keep being that way! Who knew parenting would be this tough sometimes??!!

I also want to get back in line with taking better care of myself. I was so good while pregnant. I'm still way down in my weight loss but definitely have added a few numbers back on the scale.

I am going to concentrate more on my marriage with Jared. We have a really good marriage. We fight more than probably either of us prefer but I believe we are meant for each other. I know that the first year as new parents can be really tough. We're 50% there - I think if we make it through this we'll make it through anything!

I'm behing a little with our Christmas update - we had a very nice couple of days with family. It was NOT overdone or over the top thankfully! It was a beautiful first Christmas for Christopher!

We also hit another milestone as previously mentioned. Christopher hit six months on Dec 27. I cannot believe this little dude has been in our lives this long already. It has been an amazing whirlwind of stress and goodness all rolled into one. It seems light years ago that I was bawling daily with his colic. I still don't do well with his crying, but he has never cried like that since I went back to work in September. We've had a few monster colds, an ear infection and many early mornings. All in all I wouldn't change a thing and am really excited to see what the next six months will bring!

Holiday Happenings

This time of year is always stressful for me - I never want to upset anyone by not spending enough time with them and don't want any family to feel that I am picking another family over them - child of non-traditional family. Hopefully Christopher never feels that stress.

It has been pretty busy for us. I put in my two week notice at Weather Shield. I was offered a job by a previous employer and accepted. However, I just received a second - and bigger - offer from another employer. I'm really torn and on the fence. I'm pretty sure I know which way I am going. I just don't want to burn any bridges (there I go worrying about everyone else again).

I think we are all prepared for Christmas. I took a day off of work a couple weeks ago to do some last minute shopping and knocked almost everything off my list. I think I have one last gift card to pick up and we will be set.

It was so difficult for me to not buy something for Christopher at every store. I just love to shop for him. I've always been a bit of a shopaholic but now any time I see something that "Christopher might like" it tends to end up in the cart/bag. I REALLY did contain myself as I gave specific lists to Grandmas and Grandpas and I didn't want to risk buying something duplicate. I can have a heckuva lot of fun after Christmas for him!

He's being doing so awesome! We've introduced green beans, peas and carrots to his diet. He is not the biggest fan of green beans (just like Mommy). He is okay about peas and seems to really like carrots. Coincidentally, or perhaps not, he has also been sleeping really really well overnight since we introduced the veggies.

Ha! I just jinxed myself - he WAS sleeping and is now stirring (6:45 am!!!) - I'll finish more later.

Merry Christmas if I miss you before then.

2 Years

Jared and I celebrated our two year wedding anniversary yesterday. I guess we didn't celebrate as much as we just hit the milestone. Dude surprised the heck out of me with a bouquet of flowers when I got home - two yellow roses for the two years we've been married nestled in with some beautiful red ones. Mama cried. I cry at everything these days.

I cried when he walked in the door with Christopher because I realize how blessed I am to have this amazing life. It isn't always easy and it certainly isn't perfect but it is mine and I love it.

We're celebrating tonight (because I'm such a good wife I let him bowl last night). Tonight we're going to Mino's for some Italian cuisine. I'm looking forward to it with a good glass of wine.

Randomization

I was so stressed the last time I blogged. I was at the walk-in clinic waiting for lab results feeling like pooh on a stick. I didn't have strep or mono. Just realllllly run down and a super sore throat.

I went to the doctor again on Monday to discuss PPD. I don't know for sure that I have it. I've been doing some reading and I think I may identify more with Post Partum Stress Disorder. I'm not depressed or sad as much as I am frazzled and pissed off a lot of the time. I am really really trying to learn what my triggers are (being tired) and what sets me off (feeling like I am the only one doing anything). The Doctor suggested that I start taking Lexapro and I am super hesitant to get back on the wagon. I took it for almost 5 years and then weaned myself off slowly and painfully over a period of 10 months. It was awful and I don't know if I want to go through that again.

The good part of all of this is that I am feeling a bit better physically which I hope will help me feel better emotionally. I would like to start getting some sort of exercise back into the picture. I don't know exactly how or when. Christopher gets up so gosh darn early and the mornings are pretty chaotic. I could do it at night but I am worried that it will make me more wired. I'm having some trouble falling asleep - generally after his middle of the night feeding. I lay there thinking about the things that I want to get done and my mind just runs. Gotta find that off button. Again, I'm trying to be more cognizant of these things and hoping that awareness helps.

On the Christopher front: He was super sick about two weeks ago. Definitely the worst cold that we have had to deal with so far. Day care called on a Friday afternoon to get him as he had a fever over 100*. I took him in to the doctor and they said yeah just a bad cold. I took him back in again on Sunday to the walk-in and he was diagnosed with his first ear infection. Poor little guy. That was opening weekend of hunting. Jared was so sweet and gave up hunting on Sunday to stay home with the two of us - Saturday had been pure hell. I have never been covered in so much snot, spit, spit-up etc. Christopher spit-up about 5.5 oz of bottle on Sunday. All over me, the dog, the carpet and an ottoman. He had cried pretty hard on the way home from the walk-in and was starving. I should have burped him half way through... live and learn.

He is starting to sit on his own. I had him on the floor in front of me one morning and realized that he was pretty independent. I let him rest against my shin and we've been practicing more and more. I am so amazed with his development.

We also popped another tooth this morning. I was in the bathroom getting ready for church. Jared had been snuggling with Christopher when holy hell broke loose. Christopher screamed and screamed and I thought oh I'll just grab him and he'll be fine. No dice. So I was walking around with him and I looked and thought "that looks like another tooth" and Jared came running to check and sure enough. I feel kind of bad that I missed it as I feel like it came out of nowhere. He was fine and then screaming bloody murder. We gave him some anbesol and a half dose of Tylenol and he was fine again.

I cannot believe that he is five months old already. I know that he'll be a year in the blink of an eye. I'm just trying to enjoy every possible moment.

Run Down

You don't realize how cruddy you feel until it is too late to stop the madness. I'm sitting at the walk-in waiting for lab results to come back. They think I have mono. So I know that I've been pretty pooped out lately and have been feeling pretty yucky. I didn't realize until the last few minutes how run down I really feel.
There is so much going on in our lives right now. Jared lost his job a week ago, we're talking about relocating, I'm trying to be supermom and wife and save the day. I think it is someone else's turn to be the cruise director for awhile. I have just wanted to crawl in bed and sleep for the past week or so but have just tried pushing through it.
I'm worried too about PPD a little. I feel good most of the time but I have moments where I am uncertain of what I am doing and/or if I am doing enough. I am so hard on myself and hold myself (and others) to such high standards. I'm realizing it is really hard to continually live at a "10" everyday. I just want to be the best Mommy for Christopher and a good wife to Jared. I guess that the rest - the house, the laundry, the dishes, the cleaning et al do not have to be top priority...somehow need to reconcile that I don't have as much time and that it is ok to let some things go. Otherwise I need a live in maid or Jared needs a second wife to keep the house together.

One more thing!

Check out our photographer's blog! She is the best!!!

http://www.lindseymariephotoblog.com/

Toofers!

Okay ONE tooth, but ayup! The boy has popped a tooth. I'm a terrible writer and forgot to tell you - with all the sick and stuff I'm sure you'll understand! Bottom right on Monday the 15th. It still is not completely visible but you can feel it! He was chewing and chewing on Grandpa Jeff's finger at his baptism luncheon and "now we know why". We - Jared's Mom, myself, Grandpa Jeff, Grandma Arlene - all thought he was teething but it seemed to go on and on and on! Ms. Ann from Daycare finally noticed it on Monday - she wrote me a note on his daily sheet. He was sleeping by the time I had him at home. I, of course, had to wake him up and stick my finger in there to check things out! Yay Christopher!

Here's a favorite picture of mine! Christopher is so lucky to have Great Grandma Gracie! She just love love loves him!