Holiday Happenings

This time of year is always stressful for me - I never want to upset anyone by not spending enough time with them and don't want any family to feel that I am picking another family over them - child of non-traditional family. Hopefully Christopher never feels that stress.

It has been pretty busy for us. I put in my two week notice at Weather Shield. I was offered a job by a previous employer and accepted. However, I just received a second - and bigger - offer from another employer. I'm really torn and on the fence. I'm pretty sure I know which way I am going. I just don't want to burn any bridges (there I go worrying about everyone else again).

I think we are all prepared for Christmas. I took a day off of work a couple weeks ago to do some last minute shopping and knocked almost everything off my list. I think I have one last gift card to pick up and we will be set.

It was so difficult for me to not buy something for Christopher at every store. I just love to shop for him. I've always been a bit of a shopaholic but now any time I see something that "Christopher might like" it tends to end up in the cart/bag. I REALLY did contain myself as I gave specific lists to Grandmas and Grandpas and I didn't want to risk buying something duplicate. I can have a heckuva lot of fun after Christmas for him!

He's being doing so awesome! We've introduced green beans, peas and carrots to his diet. He is not the biggest fan of green beans (just like Mommy). He is okay about peas and seems to really like carrots. Coincidentally, or perhaps not, he has also been sleeping really really well overnight since we introduced the veggies.

Ha! I just jinxed myself - he WAS sleeping and is now stirring (6:45 am!!!) - I'll finish more later.

Merry Christmas if I miss you before then.

2 Years

Jared and I celebrated our two year wedding anniversary yesterday. I guess we didn't celebrate as much as we just hit the milestone. Dude surprised the heck out of me with a bouquet of flowers when I got home - two yellow roses for the two years we've been married nestled in with some beautiful red ones. Mama cried. I cry at everything these days.

I cried when he walked in the door with Christopher because I realize how blessed I am to have this amazing life. It isn't always easy and it certainly isn't perfect but it is mine and I love it.

We're celebrating tonight (because I'm such a good wife I let him bowl last night). Tonight we're going to Mino's for some Italian cuisine. I'm looking forward to it with a good glass of wine.

Randomization

I was so stressed the last time I blogged. I was at the walk-in clinic waiting for lab results feeling like pooh on a stick. I didn't have strep or mono. Just realllllly run down and a super sore throat.

I went to the doctor again on Monday to discuss PPD. I don't know for sure that I have it. I've been doing some reading and I think I may identify more with Post Partum Stress Disorder. I'm not depressed or sad as much as I am frazzled and pissed off a lot of the time. I am really really trying to learn what my triggers are (being tired) and what sets me off (feeling like I am the only one doing anything). The Doctor suggested that I start taking Lexapro and I am super hesitant to get back on the wagon. I took it for almost 5 years and then weaned myself off slowly and painfully over a period of 10 months. It was awful and I don't know if I want to go through that again.

The good part of all of this is that I am feeling a bit better physically which I hope will help me feel better emotionally. I would like to start getting some sort of exercise back into the picture. I don't know exactly how or when. Christopher gets up so gosh darn early and the mornings are pretty chaotic. I could do it at night but I am worried that it will make me more wired. I'm having some trouble falling asleep - generally after his middle of the night feeding. I lay there thinking about the things that I want to get done and my mind just runs. Gotta find that off button. Again, I'm trying to be more cognizant of these things and hoping that awareness helps.

On the Christopher front: He was super sick about two weeks ago. Definitely the worst cold that we have had to deal with so far. Day care called on a Friday afternoon to get him as he had a fever over 100*. I took him in to the doctor and they said yeah just a bad cold. I took him back in again on Sunday to the walk-in and he was diagnosed with his first ear infection. Poor little guy. That was opening weekend of hunting. Jared was so sweet and gave up hunting on Sunday to stay home with the two of us - Saturday had been pure hell. I have never been covered in so much snot, spit, spit-up etc. Christopher spit-up about 5.5 oz of bottle on Sunday. All over me, the dog, the carpet and an ottoman. He had cried pretty hard on the way home from the walk-in and was starving. I should have burped him half way through... live and learn.

He is starting to sit on his own. I had him on the floor in front of me one morning and realized that he was pretty independent. I let him rest against my shin and we've been practicing more and more. I am so amazed with his development.

We also popped another tooth this morning. I was in the bathroom getting ready for church. Jared had been snuggling with Christopher when holy hell broke loose. Christopher screamed and screamed and I thought oh I'll just grab him and he'll be fine. No dice. So I was walking around with him and I looked and thought "that looks like another tooth" and Jared came running to check and sure enough. I feel kind of bad that I missed it as I feel like it came out of nowhere. He was fine and then screaming bloody murder. We gave him some anbesol and a half dose of Tylenol and he was fine again.

I cannot believe that he is five months old already. I know that he'll be a year in the blink of an eye. I'm just trying to enjoy every possible moment.

Run Down

You don't realize how cruddy you feel until it is too late to stop the madness. I'm sitting at the walk-in waiting for lab results to come back. They think I have mono. So I know that I've been pretty pooped out lately and have been feeling pretty yucky. I didn't realize until the last few minutes how run down I really feel.
There is so much going on in our lives right now. Jared lost his job a week ago, we're talking about relocating, I'm trying to be supermom and wife and save the day. I think it is someone else's turn to be the cruise director for awhile. I have just wanted to crawl in bed and sleep for the past week or so but have just tried pushing through it.
I'm worried too about PPD a little. I feel good most of the time but I have moments where I am uncertain of what I am doing and/or if I am doing enough. I am so hard on myself and hold myself (and others) to such high standards. I'm realizing it is really hard to continually live at a "10" everyday. I just want to be the best Mommy for Christopher and a good wife to Jared. I guess that the rest - the house, the laundry, the dishes, the cleaning et al do not have to be top priority...somehow need to reconcile that I don't have as much time and that it is ok to let some things go. Otherwise I need a live in maid or Jared needs a second wife to keep the house together.

One more thing!

Check out our photographer's blog! She is the best!!!

http://www.lindseymariephotoblog.com/

Toofers!

Okay ONE tooth, but ayup! The boy has popped a tooth. I'm a terrible writer and forgot to tell you - with all the sick and stuff I'm sure you'll understand! Bottom right on Monday the 15th. It still is not completely visible but you can feel it! He was chewing and chewing on Grandpa Jeff's finger at his baptism luncheon and "now we know why". We - Jared's Mom, myself, Grandpa Jeff, Grandma Arlene - all thought he was teething but it seemed to go on and on and on! Ms. Ann from Daycare finally noticed it on Monday - she wrote me a note on his daily sheet. He was sleeping by the time I had him at home. I, of course, had to wake him up and stick my finger in there to check things out! Yay Christopher!

Here's a favorite picture of mine! Christopher is so lucky to have Great Grandma Gracie! She just love love loves him!

Four Months Four Weeks

We made it four months and four weeks without any major issues. Day care called last Friday and asked me to get Christopher as he had a fever. Babies get fevers, I get that.

Because I am a safer than sorry kinda Momma yet I called our Physician and we got in Friday afternoon - what the heck is it with kids getting sick on Fridays so that we have the whole freakin' weekend to fret?? So I pushed to get in - I swear the nurse on the phone must have skipped her empathy classes. I wanted to reach through the phone. I had to pull the bitch card out on the phone with her while I was picking Christopher up at day care. I'm sure they were real impressed. So we went in and yes he has a fever and yes he has a good cold. OK thanks. Pat on the back from the doctor and home we went.

Saturday was pure chaos. He was burning up and his nose ran like a faucet. My baby was one of "those kids" with the super snotty noses that I always gagged over in the past. YUKKO. But I was a trooper while Daddy went hunting and Christopher and I muddled through it - somehow. He cried and cried. His little voice is so hoarse. We contemplated taking him back in to the Walk-In but decided to wait it out.

Sunday morning we hung out - Jared let me go grocery shopping. I needed to get out of the house for a little bit. Christopher's fever was down and his nose seemed a little better. By the afternoon though we decided to take him in. His eyes were just watering and watering and super blood shot. I was 99% sure it was not pink eye but just wanted to make sure. And I wanted to ask if he could have a decongestant or something. He was struggling to take a bottle due to his nose being sooooo stuffy.

The magical answer is no decongestant and then she proceeded to say generally not until age 2 (OMG!). They checked him over and we found the first ear infection. I have been dreading it. A lot of Moms tell me that once you get one they are nonstop. I don't know what I can do to stop that from happening. Might have to put a call in to the chiropractor to get his opinion. I know when we were treating for colic he was super anit-antibiotic. We're three doses in tonight and seeing good results.

He has been such a trooper. I took him to day care for a couple hours today as I had a meeting that I needed to go to (am on layoff this week). He snoozed for the most part for the girls there. We came home and he was just a little ham for me. Trying to smile and just hang out. He even gave us a couple giggles! What a sweet sweet boy.

Oh! I am now an experienced projectile vomit Momma too. After the walk-in yesterday Jared dropped us off here at home and ran back in town to pick up his prescription. Christopher had been crying and crying in the car and I figured he was hungry. I try to settle him down a little before feeding him as we've had the too much air problem before. Well once he got that bottle in his mouth I sort of went with it. 6 ounces later he was "full" and I moved to burp him and thought huh you're not breathing real well. I put him over my shoulder to burp him and I swear that he must have spewed 60 ounces back out. Poor Kahlua girl took the most of it on her back, along with the ottoman, love seat, floor and down the back of my sweatshirt. I am fairly confident it was from having too much air from the crying. He also hadn't eaten that much in a few days. So maybe a combo of too much too fast. Poor guy. Kahlua didn't mind and it cleaned up pretty easy - Yay for stain resistant carpet or whatever the hell protection plan we got! The loves eat cleaned up well too - Kahlua on the other hand...needs a bath!